Peace Treatments

Having asked a question about memorialization to a class not that long ago, I continue to ponder the distinctions. For example, what is the distinction between "lest we forget" and "make them remember".  I'm thinking of the annual memorial services in Rwanda every April, where in some cases,  Hutu are asked to stand next to the Tutsi who forgave them and recall and reiterate their deeds.  The story I tell myself is that two harms are occurring here - the one who forgave gains some sort of false sense of nobility while the one who is forgiven gains another real dose of shame. Forgiveness is something I think about a lot.  And I've said this before - there is a distinction between my deigning to forgive because it benefits me, as if taking the high road renders me better than.  But that was and is never what forgiveness was meant to be.  I still can't help thinking that forgiveness is intended to release the offender from shame, return them their dig...

The other day, while out hiking with a very science minded friend with a well developed sense of fairness, the discussion about there being more than one path to God and heaven came up.  Admittedly, I did not have an answer for her. More to the point, there was a third person there, whom I'd only just met that day,and I was very aware of the two of them agreeing on there being more than one way and my fear of being perceived as narrow minded.  I hate it when my fear of man and desire for admiration, both of which are grounded in lies, outweigh the Truth that is grounded in love. Anyway practicing, forgiveness means we often need to forgive ourselves too - so I have, as has God. So this morning at the crack of waking up, I got this thought.... "there are 10,000 ways to die but only one way to be born, all things to do with giving life have only one natural way to that life". I pondered on that for awhile - in fact, am still chewing on it, hence this ...

When in Palm Springs recently we went for a hike in the desert.  Not a good idea for a couple of northerners used to moderate temperatures on our mountain air hikes.  It was in the high 90's and extremely uncomfortable.  When we found this oasis with lots and lots of shade, what a relief! Which brings me more to the idea of SHADE...Safe, Humble, Accepting, Discerning and Encouraging...when we find people like that or relationships where we get to experience these qualities, what a relief! We can be ourselves, completely authentic and find support and caring.  Have been pondering more about this idea of SHADE and am envisioning it like  a 5 week small circle group.  The group comes together one night a week, where we study, learn and even practice, each characteristic.  Week one we learn about what it means to be Safe, in other words, what would make a conflict safe, what would make each person engaged in the conflict safe?  ...

Have noticed a rather disturbing trend of late - parents posting issues with their children on Facebook. A child acts out, behaving badly, is disrespectful, ornery, what have you...and the parent posts details on Facebook, usually asking for tips on what to do or how to deal with it.  The first thing that comes to my mind is..."start by showing respect to your child by NOT plastering their private business and teenage angst behavior on Facebook". Why do parents feel they have the right to denigrate and demean their child in this way? They are human beings, with dignity and value, who deserve respect and honour, regardless of whether we believe they deserve respect and honour or not, and regardless of whether they give respect and honour to us as parents.  God created that child in the womb, endowed him/her with His creation grace, a destiny, and then was trusting enough to gift them to us to parent.  It's almost a stewardship, this...

For whatever reason, trees have been central in my personal reflections of late.  It started in the winter, when at school, we were asked to prepare a "tree of life".  Our tree of life had to depict the foundations, cornerstones, and happenings in our lives that went into making us, us.  I drew mine out of a nurse log, which is a dead log out of which healthy trees grow.  The nurse log depicted my violent, abusive past, while the tree that grew out of it had strong roots of faith, hope, love, community, forgiveness, family, resilience, all nourishing a tree that bore the fruits of connectedness, destiny, vision and purpose.  Then, in residency, we were asked to take a moment and envision where we saw ourselves a year hence, and draw it.  All I got was a tree - a huge, solid, tall, oak tree sitting in the middle of the desert, providing shade to anyone who wanted it.   So I drew it and began to ponder the idea of being shade. Here's what came...

Those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength They shall rise up with wings as eagles They shall run and not get weary They shall walk and not grow faint Teach me Lord to wait (Isaiah 40:31) Was on a hike yesterday.  15 kilometers, up and down.  By the time we were a kilometer or two from the parking lot, my knees ached, my hips were screaming and my feet were protesting.   Upon realization on how old and broken down I sometimes feel at the grand ole age of 51, the scripture about waiting on the Lord popped into the head...actually, it was the walking and not fainting part that popped in...and then I started to ponder it. Here's what I got... Have you ever received a promise?  A certainty from God concerning a plan, or destiny, or much hoped for answer to prayer?  I have.  In 1998 God promised me that He had and was preserving my marriage for a purpose and that it was good to wait for the salvation of the Lor...

Western culture values independence. Eastern culture values interdependence.  Western culture raises up children that become adults who hold to a "I'm great, you're great, we're all great" mindset, and if it turns out that someone is not so great as one would like, well, that is attributed to a flaw in their disposition.   And if that flaw in their disposition caused a harm to another, then even the forgiveness the harmed person is asked to extend serves the independent value set.  In other words, in order to keep being great, it's a therapeutic benefit to self,  to forgive.  More importantly, forgiveness itself remains an individual choice in Western culture. Eastern culture on the other hand raises up children that become adults who hold to a "we're in a community, and in order for the community to be great, we each must do our part" mindset.  And if it turns out that someone in the community has not quite done their part and this ca...