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Showing posts from June, 2013

The Two Hearts of Forgiveness

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This is interesting...at least to me. In Matthew6:9-15, Jesus teaches the disciples to pray.  In His model prayer, He teaches us all to request of the Father, " And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors" (NKJ) .  Other translations say "our sins as we forgive those who sin against us".  Jesus then elaborates..." for if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matt 6:14-15) This discourse is early in Jesus' ministry.  The apostle's to whom He is speaking are relatively "young" insofar as spiritual/Christian maturity goes.  Later on in His ministry though, in fact, after His resurrection, Jesus makes another statement about forgiveness, this time in John 20:21-23.   Jesus has resurrected and finds the apostles shut up behind closed, locked doors.  He appears to them and says , "Peac

A Radical Kind of Love

Jesus said, "You have heard it said,  You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who  hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust" (Matt. 5:43-45) This scripture makes me think of another He said, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God" (Matt.5:9) Love Sons of your Father in heaven Peacemakers Sons of God Love and Peacemaking = children of God Children of God = love and peacemaking Easier said than done. Especially when those who say it, people like me,  live comfy lives a world away from violence and hatred and revenge. Sometimes I read and ponder the power of Jesus teaching and am so hopeful... and sometimes I read and ponder the power of Jesus teaching and am so pes

The Language of Love With an Accent

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 oh, but they can! When repeated abuse,  trauma or neglect result in a baby, toddler or young child not getting the healthy affection and love they needed growing up, the naturally regulated, stress responses in the brain do not develop.  And neither do the social and communication aspects that help things like empathy, social longing and sense of belonging and attachment become 2nd nature in us. The child grows up "missing something" which can best be described as a sense of connection.  I have known this well...this missing something. Sometimes, particularly when I'm stressed or fearful, I still fight this battle. And yet,  I've always had hope, and have indeed seen healing...huge healing.   I can't say that the healing is done, and that I've reached my shalom, that place of peace when you know you're exactly who God intended you to be all along before you got interrupted.  And that's not to say He was surprised by the interruption, in fact

..then what?

I was at the "Trauma, Reconciliation & Peacemaking after Mass Violence: Learning from Rwanda" seminar last week at the Justice Institute, and met Ramond.  He's working on an MBA in London, after which he'll return to his homeland to work on economic development. Simultaneous to that, I've been reading "Rwanda Inc." by Patricia Crisafulli and Andrea Redmond, and got to thinking. There are NGO's and various other "ministries" that do and or train Rwandans in trauma healing, restorative justice, mediation, conflict transformation, and there are various NGO's, and socially conscious businesses that transfer knowledge, invest, and build capacity towards poverty reduction. My heart is in trauma healing and restorative practices; and at the same time, I've been a successful businesswomen for almost 30 years.  I had thought (assumed perhaps) God was asking me to leave  the business market place to do peace building but now I'm

It's Time

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to tell my own story of my journey to forgiveness... prompted by my own personal aversion to what I've heard called "the forgiveness industry" ... that industry within the church that tells believers that if they want their prayers heard, or if they want to be healed or made whole or made emotionally well, they must forgive... that sort of forgiveness that is born of duty and expectation and shame and fear... the kind of forgiveness that I've become convinced is not real forgiveness at all... I'm not talking here about forgiveness over what I'll call "every day sin".  There are sins that offend our ego and those we are called to forgive by choice and will.    No, I'm talking about sins that wound our hearts, that go to the core of our soul and cause serious damage.  I'm talking about sins born of evil, and don't just offend our ego, but are intended to kill us on the inside...things like rape, violence, molestation, murder,

Counting Costs

Our most recent assignment has us counting the costs of conflict.  My team had a "moodle" discussion about that today and during one of my turns to speak, I said, "The ultimate cost of any conflict will be the destruction of the goal you fought for in the first place and that will play out.  It might not play out today, it might not play out tomorrow, but eventually, at some point, the goal that you fought for today and continue to fight for, will become destroyed by the atmosphere and the attitude that is generated into the future because of that intractability".  Sometimes the things that come out of my mouth are happy accidents and I have no clue where they came from. But think about it. When we are in a deep conflict, we think about our goals and then fight for them tooth and nail.  Maybe we win.  We often count the cost as being the relationship that was damaged and that is a dire cost indeed.  But what about the goal itself?  Is my means to my end a se