One day too soon...

Was having dinner with a friend last night, and as we talked about things that have been happening in my life, marriage, parenthood, etc., I made a comment to the effect that I was so thankful that I had not given up on any of them.  I believe my exact words in summation were "I think too many believers give up one day too soon, maybe that's why Jesus said, live only for today".

We both just sort of stopped talking at that point and pondered it...an epiphany in process, coming live at you from a table in the Keg..."giving up one day too soon"...

How many times in the anger and pain of a struggling marriage or in the fear and uncertainty of parenthood did I envision an intolerable future and come to believe words that told me if I don't make a change now, today, this minute, that future will play out.  How many times did I resolve in those moments to give up, leave, quit, that's it, I'm done...only to go to bed, have sleep overtake me and wake up with the grace to see it differently the next morning. 

Perhaps it's the uncertain, intolerable future we envision that deceives us into forgetting that God indeed has a future for us, one that will not disappoint, but we don't believe Him.  Instead we believe our imaginings of the intolerable one and the voices in our head that say "he'll never change, he'll never love you the way you deserve,  quick, get out now, while you're still young enough for someone else to want you" ...yes, I had those thoughts.   Thoughts of "what if" and "before it's too late", and we believe the thoughts more than we believe God and His promises about our future and His faithfulness to those who wait, and instead, we give up, probably just one day too soon, before new grace comes, or before we see the manifestation of God's promises coming to fruition.

I've been reading in the Psalms lately...and it's all about waiting...

- waiting for the salvation of the Lord
- waiting for rescue in the day of trouble
- waiting upon the Lord to renew our strength

waiting, waiting, waiting...

and we don't like to wait...we like instant gratification, quick solutions and problems solved anyway we can get them, and that means taking things into our own hands and acting...or reacting... might be a bettter term.

As I drove home from dinner, soft classical music played in my car and I pondered the magnificence of a God who gives the grace to wait...and the strength to stand and stay, and not give up...so that I didn't give up one day too soon, and instead, remained one day too late, only to see the promises arrive just in perfect time.

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