What's in the Cup?

The instructor stood on the stage, glass in hand. Holding the partially filled glass out in front of him, he looked expectedly at the audience. It's going to be one of those "glass half full/glass half empty" lessons, I thought.

The instructor hit the glass. Water sloshed out. Ok, that was random, I thought.

"How come the water came out of the glass?", the instructor asked.

"Cause you hit it". "Outside forces impacted it". "It got hit". piped up various voices from the audience.

The instructor repeated the action. Surprise, surprise, water sloshed out of the glass. Hope the church doesn't mind the wet carpet, I thought.

"So, why did the water come out of the glass?", the instructor asked again.

More voices chimed in.... a man's voice - "external forces making contact with the containment were sufficient to cause expulsion". Okay, I bet he's an engineer, I thought.

A woman's voice, "someone already said it, the water came out of the glass because you hit the glass". Okay, she's getting impatient, I thought.

After several more offerings, the room grew silent, somewhat anticipatory, while the instructor stood, making eye contact with each of us with something akin to a Mona Lise "I have a secret" smile on his face.

"Here's a thought", said he. "How about, the water came out of the glass, because the water was in the glass?"

Hmmmmmm. I thought.

"You see, the water coming out of the glass would not have come out of the glass with external forces, hitting, or any other situation, circumstance or cause, had it not been in the glass in the first place", said he.

Hmmmmmmm.....that's deep, I thought.

More silence, and then slowly, an almost collective "a-ha" moment. What a profound lesson.

How often have I thought I only got mad because "he" (meaning my husband) made me mad. Or, I wouldn't be so angry or sad or frustrated if the circumstances were different or changed or better. Or, this rage is your fault, you make me angry! The point of the lesson though, is, just like the water, none of these negative feelings would slosh out of me if they weren't in me in the first place. No one put them there; no one made me feel them; they are mine to begin with.

This, I believe, is one of the reasons we experience conflict. Conflict squeezes us and we get to see what comes out. Will it be patience, gentleness, understanding, an authentic desire to hear the other? Or will be anger, competitiveness and an incessant need to win?

I believe that conflict is one of those "all things" that God uses to work together for our good, and that when we view it like this, we see the opportunity that conflict presents, an opportunity to reveal what is in our hearts so that God can redeem it. And that's the good news!! Because when we come to understand the nature of the water in our cups, God is more then willing, ready and able to cleanse us, grow us and lead us in a better way. And He does it so much more gentler then the conflict He often uses to bring us there.