The Idea of Being Shade

For whatever reason, trees have been central in my personal reflections of late.  It started in the winter, when at school, we were asked to prepare a "tree of life".  Our tree of life had to depict the foundations, cornerstones, and happenings in our lives that went into making us, us.  I drew mine out of a nurse log, which is a dead log out of which healthy trees grow.  The nurse log depicted my violent, abusive past, while the tree that grew out of it had strong roots of faith, hope, love, community, forgiveness, family, resilience, all nourishing a tree that bore the fruits of connectedness, destiny, vision and purpose. 

Then, in residency, we were asked to take a moment and envision where we saw ourselves a year hence, and draw it.  All I got was a tree - a huge, solid, tall, oak tree sitting in the middle of the desert, providing shade to anyone who wanted it.   So I drew it and began to ponder the idea of being shade.

Here's what came to mind...

First, shade stays with the tree - the tree that gives shade does not move, meaning people come to the shade, the shade does not find them. Shade is invitational.

When shade does move, it only moves centered around the tree.  Shade remains anchored.

Shade provides comfort and protection from the hot sun, particularly to those who have been striving and toiling in it all day.  It occurs to me that the hot sun or the desert is synonymous with people who work to keep up appearances or hide their pain behind performance. When we are shade to these people, we are just transparent enough that they will sense a kindred spirit, and an unspoken invitation to come take comfort in our shade.  Shade provides a safe place.

The larger the tree, the bigger the shade.  As we grow and learn, we have more to give, hence more space for shade, and more people to sit under it.  Shade constantly expands.

Since the sun is always in the sky, technically, shade is always present.  Clouds may render shade muted but it is always present.  Shade is sustainable.

Most plants that grow from seeds and all flowers that grow from bulbs, grow best in shade; at least in partial shade.  Shade is good for growing.

As I was pondering "shade" again this morning, I thought of an acronym...

SHADE

S - safe - shade people need to be safe - non judgmental, empathetic, not into fixing or correcting, or giving advise, but rather, simply about providing space for them to rest and be heard as well as providing space for ourselves to receive  a life giving "download" (word) for them that becomes a seed for new life, better choices, capacity and empowerment

H - honest &  humble - shade people need be sincere, honest, faithful, loyal, unassuming, fair-minded, and ethical which are all the hallmarks of humility, knowing that they have something to give and want to give it but only because they genuinely care, and not simply because they can

A - authentic - shade people need to be transparent and authentic, just enough to be recognized by those who want to be known; authenticity makes one approachable, trustworthy and is the only way people will know that you have something life giving to share with them

D - discerning - shade people need to trust their intuition and discernment, recognizing what in the other person needs to be spoken to; that if they have to judge, because sometimes that is necessary, that they have the ability to judge well and with love

E - encouraging - shade people need to be able to give someone genuine support, and build their confidence; in other words, they need to be able to give someone courage and support them as they learn to walk courageously

So, the idea that I have spinning around in my head is that anyone can be shade; that every single person has some experience or life lesson that they can pass on to someone else who needs it; that we simply go about our day to day authentically living out who we are, and every once in a while, someone will recognize "our shade" and be drawn to us.  There they will sit and find comfort, and since they know we are safe, they will start to share their story or concern; we listen to their story with honest and humble ears, our discernment downloads a word of life or something empowering for them - more often than not we won't even know what it was that we said or did - that's the humbling part.  We encourage them with whatever word of life we have for them and they go on their way. Sometimes they may come back for more shade, but more often than not, they get the seed they need to take it from there.

It's an esoteric idea but one I believe has validity.  When we are Safe, Honest and Humble, Authentic, Discerning and Encouraging, we have enormous capacity to come alongside people, meeting them where they are at, to help them get where they want to be.  And being shade gives us the passport to do so.