Peace Treatments

So, I woke up in the wee hours of the morning after posting my last post, with this question in my head... "what about the things you daydream as the solution to your problems, do you find so appealing?" and I thought back to the post I'd written, and particularly, the 2007 journal entry I'd made, and knew I was about to join Holy Spirit in a little unpacking. There was a time in the not so distant future that running away, just starting all over again, ALONE, was the answer to the pain I felt. Just get me out of the circumstance, and all will be well. I've learned since then that no matter where I go, there I am, and it's not the circumstance that has me in pain, it's me, my feelings, my undealt with stuff, the things that God wants to heal in me. We keep meeting the same people over and over again, and that person is you! Nothing changes until we have the courage to allow God to expose our hearts and change us from within. But I digress.... In the wee ho...

I took a road trip this past weekend. Spent 9 hours each way, alone in my car, talking to God, listening to worship music, singing along, and contemplating His goodness, His graciousness and His overwhelming patience and mercy towards me. He truly is a life giver. I took my journal on the journey (gee, I just got that...a journal is where we document our journey to date) and I read thru it, and was thoroughly reminded of His infinite love towards me and mine. Here is an entry from December 4, 2007.... " I'm depressed. My mood is sour. I'm bored, I feel far far away from God and my daydreams turn to fantasies of being alone with a clean slate. Paul Tripp says being in the middle of anything is the hardest place to be. I thought about that, and he's so right. In the middle of a fight, in the middle of a loveless marriage, in the middle of a stagnant career, in the middle of redemption that doesn't feel very redeeming. We are caught in the in between, the mi...

When you think about conflict, what is the first "feeling" you associate with it? If you are like me, you are probably thinking about feelings like anger, fear, or embarrassment. Depending on how you "do" conflict, you may be thinking about feelings like disappointment, disheartened, anxious, bewildered, baffled, or think of feelings that touch on your vulnerability, like fragile, helpless, insecure or shaky. Or if the conflict you are thinking about involves someone you don't care about, perhaps the feelings that come to mind are detached, apathetic, indifferent. When I began this exploration into conflict in 2004 (seriously, has it been that long? ) I was still in the midst of doing my 12 step work, and healing from years of physical and sexual abuse, and really had no clear concept of "feelings". The teachings I had received in my earlier church days was that feelings were to be discounted, that we "go by faith, not by feelings", and this,...