What's so Appealing.......
So, I woke up in the wee hours of the morning after posting my last post, with this question in my head...
"what about the things you daydream as the solution to your problems, do you find so appealing?"
and I thought back to the post I'd written, and particularly, the 2007 journal entry I'd made, and knew I was about to join Holy Spirit in a little unpacking.
There was a time in the not so distant future that running away, just starting all over again, ALONE, was the answer to the pain I felt. Just get me out of the circumstance, and all will be well. I've learned since then that no matter where I go, there I am, and it's not the circumstance that has me in pain, it's me, my feelings, my undealt with stuff, the things that God wants to heal in me. We keep meeting the same people over and over again, and that person is you! Nothing changes until we have the courage to allow God to expose our hearts and change us from within. But I digress....
In the wee hours of the morning, the Holy Spirit showed me that if we unpack the things we THINK is our solution and figure out what it is about that solution that we find so appealing, we will discover, at worse, what it is we are demanding and at best, what it is we really need. For example, when my solution was to run away, here is what He helped me to unpack:
- a clean slate
- alone = no conflicts
- do overs
- freedom
- time to do what I want
- escape
- relief from responsibility
It was not the "running away" that I found so appealing, it was all that I thought running away would do for me. I could start all over again, with no regrets; have a do over so to speak and this time I would get it right. I would be free to do what I want, when I want, and not have to answer to anyone. If I was alone, there would be no one to argue with me, no one to attempt to control me, no one to criticize me.
Doesn't this all sound so appealing, sort of like the lies that satan (with a little s) told Jesus at the temptation?
If we want a do over, a clean slate, we get that every day, when we wake up and turn our lives over to His Lordship!
If we think being alone means no conflicts, what about the conflict inside that is still at court, at fight, within us? Or, even worse, being alone might mean a modicum of peace, but it also means no one to laugh with, cry with, hear us out, love us, and stretch us to maturity and growth.
We don't really need do overs - we have forgiveness.
As for time? Time is what we make of it; we choose how we spend it and how we waste it, and don't need to be alone to make the best of it. Certainly, we need time with God above all, and that is within our power to make happen, whether we are alone or not.
And responsibility - that ability to respond to what God is calling you to be - if you truly want to live without that greatest gift, be my guest. One does not get to walk out the fullness of being a child of God without learning responsibility, including the responsibility to love, even our enemies, perhaps the very ones we wish we could run away from.
So, all in all, when you get to the point that you start believing you have the only solution to whatever pains you, stop, be still, know He is God, and go unpacking with Holy Spirit. Ask Him, "what is so appealing about this solution that I'm being tempted to?", and listen. You just might discover the things you think you need are already set before you, just where you are.
"what about the things you daydream as the solution to your problems, do you find so appealing?"
and I thought back to the post I'd written, and particularly, the 2007 journal entry I'd made, and knew I was about to join Holy Spirit in a little unpacking.
There was a time in the not so distant future that running away, just starting all over again, ALONE, was the answer to the pain I felt. Just get me out of the circumstance, and all will be well. I've learned since then that no matter where I go, there I am, and it's not the circumstance that has me in pain, it's me, my feelings, my undealt with stuff, the things that God wants to heal in me. We keep meeting the same people over and over again, and that person is you! Nothing changes until we have the courage to allow God to expose our hearts and change us from within. But I digress....
In the wee hours of the morning, the Holy Spirit showed me that if we unpack the things we THINK is our solution and figure out what it is about that solution that we find so appealing, we will discover, at worse, what it is we are demanding and at best, what it is we really need. For example, when my solution was to run away, here is what He helped me to unpack:
- a clean slate
- alone = no conflicts
- do overs
- freedom
- time to do what I want
- escape
- relief from responsibility
It was not the "running away" that I found so appealing, it was all that I thought running away would do for me. I could start all over again, with no regrets; have a do over so to speak and this time I would get it right. I would be free to do what I want, when I want, and not have to answer to anyone. If I was alone, there would be no one to argue with me, no one to attempt to control me, no one to criticize me.
Doesn't this all sound so appealing, sort of like the lies that satan (with a little s) told Jesus at the temptation?
If we want a do over, a clean slate, we get that every day, when we wake up and turn our lives over to His Lordship!
If we think being alone means no conflicts, what about the conflict inside that is still at court, at fight, within us? Or, even worse, being alone might mean a modicum of peace, but it also means no one to laugh with, cry with, hear us out, love us, and stretch us to maturity and growth.
We don't really need do overs - we have forgiveness.
As for time? Time is what we make of it; we choose how we spend it and how we waste it, and don't need to be alone to make the best of it. Certainly, we need time with God above all, and that is within our power to make happen, whether we are alone or not.
And responsibility - that ability to respond to what God is calling you to be - if you truly want to live without that greatest gift, be my guest. One does not get to walk out the fullness of being a child of God without learning responsibility, including the responsibility to love, even our enemies, perhaps the very ones we wish we could run away from.
So, all in all, when you get to the point that you start believing you have the only solution to whatever pains you, stop, be still, know He is God, and go unpacking with Holy Spirit. Ask Him, "what is so appealing about this solution that I'm being tempted to?", and listen. You just might discover the things you think you need are already set before you, just where you are.
Love this post. I tried running away for years but all my issues and problems went with me. I am trusting the process of healing more and more knowing that God wants me (and others) to walk into the destiny He has. I can't do that carrying all the baggage. So when things come up, I really try to take the time to let the Holy Spirit minister to me His truth about the matter. Sometimes I can do it alone, sometimes I need help. I love how God wants me to walk in Freedom. He is for me and not against me. Now that is what I call love.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing Rena