Gotta Get These Down...
Woke up early this am and went downstairs to pray. As often happens, I fell asleep mid sentence and had several dreams. As very occasionally happens, I woke up with a bazillion thoughts racing around my brain, some of which took the leap from the head to the heart while I was still rubbing sleep from my eyes.
I'm beginning to think this is how Holy Spirit talks to me. During my waking hours my mind is so pre-occupied I only hear Him in the fog between sleep and wakefulness.
Anyway, I gotta get these down....the thoughts that took the leap...
Is it possible to forgive without Holy Spirit?
Do we forgive first so that we can then love or do we love first so that we can forgive? And again, can we do either without Holy Spirit grace and power?
Does the motive behind our forgiveness matter much to God? If I forgive because my church upbringing has inculturated a sense of duty to forgive, what then is my forgiveness borne out of - self protection or other loving?
Has forgiveness become something that is motivated by self serving agendas, like therapy (forgiveness is good for my psyche) or political gain (who benefited most from Truth and Reconciliation in South Africa?)
Is there a reciprocal thing that happens when forgiveness is authentic, as in, when a "victim" is given the grace to forgive, are they also given the grace to recognize what they in turn need to repent of and seek forgiveness for? I can only speak from experience here, but when I was given the sacred grace to forgive my offender, almost simultaneously, I recognized the vengeful condition of my own heart towards him and others, that also had to be transformed and forgiven.
Is forgiveness so hard we are tempted to fake it?
Where did the idea of forgetfulness come from? Forgive and forget? Seriously? How does that glorify God, the One who empowers us to do miracles like forgive? It seems to me that to forget invalidates the sacredness of forgiveness; when we remember and at the same time, marvel at the grace to remember without anger, pain or resentment, but instead, are moved by a sense of humility and love, God's work of grace in us is also remembered, and He is glorified.
When I forgive because it's expected of me, or imposed by guilt or scripture, has it become a work? Works without faith are dead. So then, does forgiveness require faith...as in, we turn it all over to God, tell Him we are willing to be made willing to forgive, and then trust Him in faith to accomplish the transformation in our hearts that enables it.
The only "work" required to forgive is the work of grace that is God's pervue alone and when we allow Him to have His way, truly, authentically, and for real, then forgiveness just sort of sneaks up on us.
I think.
Oh and one final thought...
I'm not qualified. Seriously, I'm not. Whenever I think of the thing that I THINK God is calling me to, I feel wholly inadequate and completely unqualified. And as I was having one of those head conversations with - I presume, Holy Spirit - I told Him so, and heard back, "That is because you are trying to qualify yourself". Meaning, all my training, schooling, the masters degree program, etc, are all my attempts to qualify myself for whatever this peace and reconciliation work is that God is calling me to. So I said, "But I thought getting the master's degree was Your will" and the still small voice said "It is, but it's not what will qualify you, it's not what will give you credibility, it's only to give you some tools. I will qualify you, I will give you credibility, so stop trying to qualify yourself."
I'm beginning to think this is how Holy Spirit talks to me. During my waking hours my mind is so pre-occupied I only hear Him in the fog between sleep and wakefulness.
Anyway, I gotta get these down....the thoughts that took the leap...
Is it possible to forgive without Holy Spirit?
Do we forgive first so that we can then love or do we love first so that we can forgive? And again, can we do either without Holy Spirit grace and power?
Does the motive behind our forgiveness matter much to God? If I forgive because my church upbringing has inculturated a sense of duty to forgive, what then is my forgiveness borne out of - self protection or other loving?
Has forgiveness become something that is motivated by self serving agendas, like therapy (forgiveness is good for my psyche) or political gain (who benefited most from Truth and Reconciliation in South Africa?)
Is there a reciprocal thing that happens when forgiveness is authentic, as in, when a "victim" is given the grace to forgive, are they also given the grace to recognize what they in turn need to repent of and seek forgiveness for? I can only speak from experience here, but when I was given the sacred grace to forgive my offender, almost simultaneously, I recognized the vengeful condition of my own heart towards him and others, that also had to be transformed and forgiven.
Is forgiveness so hard we are tempted to fake it?
Where did the idea of forgetfulness come from? Forgive and forget? Seriously? How does that glorify God, the One who empowers us to do miracles like forgive? It seems to me that to forget invalidates the sacredness of forgiveness; when we remember and at the same time, marvel at the grace to remember without anger, pain or resentment, but instead, are moved by a sense of humility and love, God's work of grace in us is also remembered, and He is glorified.
When I forgive because it's expected of me, or imposed by guilt or scripture, has it become a work? Works without faith are dead. So then, does forgiveness require faith...as in, we turn it all over to God, tell Him we are willing to be made willing to forgive, and then trust Him in faith to accomplish the transformation in our hearts that enables it.
The only "work" required to forgive is the work of grace that is God's pervue alone and when we allow Him to have His way, truly, authentically, and for real, then forgiveness just sort of sneaks up on us.
I think.
Oh and one final thought...
I'm not qualified. Seriously, I'm not. Whenever I think of the thing that I THINK God is calling me to, I feel wholly inadequate and completely unqualified. And as I was having one of those head conversations with - I presume, Holy Spirit - I told Him so, and heard back, "That is because you are trying to qualify yourself". Meaning, all my training, schooling, the masters degree program, etc, are all my attempts to qualify myself for whatever this peace and reconciliation work is that God is calling me to. So I said, "But I thought getting the master's degree was Your will" and the still small voice said "It is, but it's not what will qualify you, it's not what will give you credibility, it's only to give you some tools. I will qualify you, I will give you credibility, so stop trying to qualify yourself."
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