Listening to the Heart

Sometimes my rational, logical and pragmatic mind bids me well.

And sometimes I need to ignore it while it attempts to talk me into and out of things,  and simply listen to my heart.

This residency at school has convinced me of one thing - I didn't listen to my heart (His whisper) and rationalized myself into something that I now feel just a little silly about.

When I first began this journey into the world of conflict resolution, it was always with the future vision of doing post conflict capacity building with a specific focus on traumatization and truth and reconciliation.  You know...forgiveness work that makes conflict transformation sustainable. More specifically, working with women in post conflict zones training and teaching them how to do trauma healing and restorative mediation in their own communities (though the idea of doing problem solving workshops in post conflict also tugs me)

So, why did I chose organizational conflict?

Because I'm in an organization.
I'm in the market place.
It's a natural transition for me to go from successful claims career into equally successful ADR in insurance career.
It was the easy fall back position.
It's not want I want to do.

Gervaise Bush says that some people don't know what they want.  They only know what they don't want.  Or they think they know what they want until they get what they think they wanted only to find out that it is not what they wanted after all.  That's me.

My heart says subsistence living made doing post conflict capacity building  while my head says six figure consulting salary. 

I'm tired of listening to my rational, logical and pragmatic head.

I want to listen to my idealistic, peace loving, heart.

Does this mean I'll be back next year to do the poli-ethno conflict stream, the one I ought to have chosen in the first place?

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