The Influencing Power of Words


How often do you think about the words you use - not only those words that become defaults when in conflict, but also those words used in every day conversation?  I've been thinking a lot about words lately. It amazes me how the simple turn of a phrase can lead from impasse to insight, and from resistance to buy in.

Most people agree words are important; conflict practitioners understand the value in neutral words, coaches understand the impact words have on perspective and faith healers will argue that your words create your reality.

There are indeed words that hold the ability to influence and motivate others and when pondering why they are effective, it occurs to me that motivating words don't hold judgement, and therefore, people remain open to the  sense of possibilities these words generate.

Here's a comparative example....

"Attend this workshop.  It will make you a better ___________"

versus

"People who have taken this workshop report that it enhanced their ability to _________. Shall we go?"

Which statement attracts, intrigues, interests and or influences you?

Both statements are intended to "advertise" a workshop, and influence people to attend, essentially saying the same thing, but the first statement holds judgement. What if you intrinsically believe you don't need to be a better ____________? 

The second statement holds possibility, taps into social proof (other people took it, benefited and so I want to take it too), and is more invitational than the first statement.

When it comes to the influencing power of  words, some things to remember are:
  • use statements consisting of words that hold out possibility, not judgement
  • invite / ask rather than tell/command
  • use words that tap into other influencing strategies, like social proof, reciprocity, commitment and  consistency (see Cialdini, 2009)
And if you really want to expand your influencing skillset so that those in your sphere experience your influencing as easy and natural, consider hiring a coach.  How did that statement grab you? ;)





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