Peace Treatments

...have you ever wondered at the size of a speck? ...ever thought about the part of the body a speck is in? ...would you allow someone with long nails to remove it?  ...would you let someone with a big, open mouth and bad breath get close enough to remove it? ...would you allow someone who you hardly know get close enough to remove yours?  Metaphorically speaking, if I had a speck in my eye (and trust me, there's a floater in there all the time) I would want someone I know very well and trust even better to remove it.  Someone without claws.  Someone who I like and love enough that they can get right up close in my face, bending over me, mere inches away, to remove the speck, and who wouldn't use their open big mouth and bad gossipy breath to talk about it with others afterwards.  Someone I'm geniunely close with.  You can't remove a speck from a safe distance.  You have to get really, really close in, to see it, then y...

....but it's a very hard thing. ... I was reading scripture the other day.  Jesus was teaching the disciples about forgiveness.  He told them that if a "brother sins against you, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to saying, "I repent", you shall forgive him", (Luke 17:4) and the disciples responded with "Increase our faith" (Luke 17:5) and the Lord replied, "If you have the faith the size of a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea, and it will obey you" (Luke 17:6) That passage struck me.  Is Jesus being ironic or is He suggesting that we don't need faith to forgive the hard things?  I like that the disciples realized immediately how hard forgiveness is.  Upon hearing 7 times - the number of completion - you can almost hear them proclaiming "What?!" followed by, ...

I've been paying attention to language and words lately, really focusing in on what people say and how they say it and there's a quirky thing many, if not all, people do when they talk about things that touch on their emotions.  Maybe you've noticed it, and if not, I encourage you to listen for it.  What's the quirky way of talking that I'm talking about? You're talking to someone and they're telling you a story, and you ask them a question that gets them to think about their emotions, something like " So, when that happened, what was it like?"   or "how did you feel?"   or "well, I can't imagine what you were feeling"... and they answer back as if they are talking about you...like this... Story teller: relays story about almost getting hit by a car... Your response:  " wow, that must have been scary" Story teller: "yeah, for sure, like,  you just sort of freeze and then the adrenaline hits and you ...

Today's learning at the JI centered on trauma, children and youth.  What a day!  Talking about children and trauma is always a slog for me; I at once cringe at my own memories and rejoice at the healing and wholeness I find myself in.  Today was no different, except that I got a Holy Spirit visit on the drive home - He is always so welcome!  He confirmed for me that He is/has/continues to teach me to love the least of these, which in a sense, is miraculous, given there was a time I believed myself so broken and empty, dissociated and depersonalized, loving was simple not possible.  But I digress... The instructor (Linda Pearce, PhD) told us that researchers studying the affect of trauma in childhood specifically looked for reasons that some children grew up to be healthy, whole adults,  while others did not.  Personality, trauma type, race, creed, socio-demographic, and family of origin issues aside, they were perplexed by the fact that you co...

Was talking to a friend the other day about apology, musing on the fact that often when we say sorry there is a sense or hunch that the other person hasn't quite "bought it".  They might say words like "apology accepted" or "oh, it's nothing" and yet in our heart of discernment it "feels" like it's still not quite right between us.  Why is that? Could it be that the motivation behind our apology is more self serving than it ought to be?  Is my "sorry"  more about alleviating my guilt than it is about easing your pain?  That is a question we need to ask ourselves, and those who are self aware will be honest in their answer. There is this thing called duty that compels our moral and ethical behavior; it's implicit and intrinsic and I suspect only sociopaths don't feel it.  We do something wrong towards another, guilt sets in, quickly followed by a sense of duty to go make it right.  Our choice is to do our duty o...

It seems to have been a given that the deeper I've gone into conflict and peace studies, the more I bump up against things like trauma, grief and loss.  I've come to the conclusion that how we do conflict is predicated on how we did or did not complete our trauma, grief and loss journeys.  In simpler terms - if we have unresolved trauma, grief and loss, we will have unresolved conflict and or be wholly unequipped to deal with current conflicts.  Drawing from my critical incident stress management training and practice, as well as my personal experience and learning through my own trauma and loss journey, including spiritual healing 12 step, I've learned first and foremost that grief and loss are heart issues.  Loss that results in grief makes for a broken heart and yet we try to complete our healing journey with our heads.  Moreover, we are acculturated to negate the confusing feelings that arise from grief and instead, intellectu...

One of the teachings I sat under when I was a young(er) adult was the "word faith" message.  The crux of the teaching was that our words speak either life or death, negative or positive..name it, claim it, profess it, possess it.  I don't give much stock to this teaching now however, will concede that our beliefs do have the power to compel our behavior, and our beliefs are often revealed by our words.  A funny thing happened to me this morning as I read a much loved person's facebook status.  She finished her status with that statement " sometimes we don't have the luxury of saying no" and POW... triggered, bristled, hit. First, I got quiet and checked in ... I invited "myself"  to show me what had me so aggitated - in other words, I listened to my heart, my body, my thoughts (and Holy Spirit, who lives there)  And realized that what she had said revealed a deep seeded , and I believe, familial belief,  that it's not permitted in my fa...