Lessons in the Wee Hours

Ok, this may sound a wee bit weird, but some of my most profound epiphanies come at 3:00 am. I'm serious! Every morning I wake up at 3 on the dot and have to use the washroom. I can't tell you how many times on that stumble through the dark to the ensuite that I've had a very tangible "still small voice that sounds like my own", tell me something that I needed to hear.

For example, several months ago as I made my way around the bed towards the ensuite, this popped into my head, loud and clear, "you say you love your son, so why are you not praying for him more than you do?" Seriously! There's nothing like a 3 am spiritual wake up call!

So, this morning, as per usual, I woke up, rolled over, looked at the clock, "yup, it's weewee time". I stumbled into the ensuite, and sat down.....on to the closed toilet seat. I stood up, lifted the closed toilet seat, sat down and in came the rush of still small, quick, deliberate voice thoughts, stacked one on top of the other.

My first thought - "at least the lid was down" (I'd left it down BTW), instead of the seat being up, because I'd rather clunk down on a closed lid then fall into an open toilet.

On top of that first thought - since the advent of indoor plumbing, "how many women have complained about the seat being up"?

And on top of that thought - "what makes us so angry about the seat being up in the first place?"

Then - "well, that's easy, only an inconsiderate man would leave the seat up"

To which I got - "judgement!"

By this time, I was finished my early am ritual and was making my way back to bed, and started talking with God. First, in one swell swoop, I got a clearer understanding of what judgement is, and why we are called not to judge. Sticking with the toilet seat up example, suffice it to say that we tend to get unrealistic about things when we don't get our way.

The first time the toilet seat is left up, we ask nicely to please put it down, it was, afterall, a small oversight on their part; by the 10th time, we are demanding, not so convinced they are merely forgeting, just bone headed, maybe even stupid; by the 100th time, we're attacking, convinced that they are inconsiderate, and if they really loved us, they'd be more considerate, and then we start dwelling on all the other things they do just as inconsiderately.

A bit of an extreme example I know, but it's meant to illustrate a point. When someone does not do what we ask, we tend to tell ourself a story about "why not" and that story usually involves a flaw or fault in their character, and that is judgement!

A toilet seat left up is nothing more than a toilet seat left up. That's it, that's all. The lesson here is that we all need to get some perspective when things happen that we do not like, as in "is it really that bad?" Check the story you are telling yourself, and if the conclusion has something to do with a judgement, stop it, and get understanding instead. James says "you have not because you ask not". If you are wondering why someone keeps doing something that you don't like, think about it - what would cause a sane, caring, well intentioned person to do that? And then in a gentle and non interrogative, non accusatory way, ASK THEM. I believe you will find that what they are doing (or not doing) has nothing to do with inconsideration, or stupidity, or whatever else you think because of the story you told yourself.

I had one final thought as I drifted back to sleep this morning - learn gratitude! It occurred to me that a toilet seat left up means you have a husband! Probably the one you were praying God would give you. Be thankful; gratitude changes the perspective on everything!

Yup, I got all that from my bed to the toilet and back again. Just another lesson in the wee hours!



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