Restorative Justice
The Vancouver Sun posted a story last week about the Reena Virk murder, and how one of the youth involved in her death has been granted parole and is on his way to a new life, with new beginnings that were birthed in the restorative justice process he went thru with the parents of the girl he helped kill.
By contrast, the co-defendent in the case is still going through the courts. I believe her 3rd appeal was just heard, and each time she refuses to "woman up" and take responsibility for her own actions, and goes to another appeal, she drags the parents of the murdered girl through the same horrific memories.
I've met the young man who owned what he did, confessed his sin, and as a result, sought and was granted forgiveness. He exudes a new kind of life and you find yourself rooting for him.
I've not met the young girl who is still stamping her feet in a defiant "not guilty". And I don't have to meet her to know that she is devoid of feeling and life. Her eyes on the camera say it all. And that is not a judgement - it is an observation.
Restorative justice works. I've done enough victim offender mediations to no longer require "buy in". It works and it is now my life hope to become more involved, to get this grass roots movement out of the fringes and into the mainstream, to the point that it even replaces our out dated, unaffective, and even futile, punitive system.
I've had my own experience with the punitive system. In 1994 I reported the man who sexually molested me throughout my childhood to the police; charges were laid; and so began a circus of futility. Initially, he pled guilty, and I did not attend the sentencing hearing, however, when the specific charges were led out in the court, he changed his mind, almost to say "well, I did that, but I didn't do THAT", so the thing was set over to a trial. I attended that one, only to be told by Crown that the matter was being postponed because defense counsel had a vehicle break down enroute to the courts. I attended the rescheduled trial, this time to be told by Crown that they and defense counsel had come to agreement in principle a few days earlier; apparently my offender pled guilty to a couple of lesser charges and Crown were recommending that they accept. Long story short, I never did get my "day in court".
A fundamental need for all victims of any crime is "answers"; answers goes part and parcel with true justice. A victim has a need to ask questions about why, and a need to tell their story about how they were affected and harmed by the offender's actions. While a victim needs to tell their story, to be heard, the closest they come to doing this in the punitive, retributive system is the "victim impact statement", which they don't even get to read out, and can be censured if the court think editing is warranted. Moreover, a victim has no say in how the offender will make things right, and when you think about it, in our current system, the offender can never make it right. The closest thing to "making it right" is a restitution order sometimes ordered on property crimes, but when it comes to personal injury crimes, how does doing time address the harm that the victim has suffered?
In my case, my offender received a 2 year conditional sentence, primarily involving an ankle bracelet and probation. I remember thinking at the time that once I had "my revenge" things would level out for me emotionally. Unfortunately, that could never have happened, not even if he had of received a heavy duty sentence, for the simple reason that my fundamental need for answers was never met.
Ultimately, there was no real freedom for me emotionally, or spiritually, until I was enabled to forgive. Ultimately, I would never receive my answers and get understanding, and with forgiveness, I don't need them.
Had there been restorative justice available for us back then, I can see now that much could have been transformed by it, for both myself and the offender. The cool thing is that some serious crimes are undergoing the restorative justice process now, and I find that so exciting.
There is old native story which I believe to be true. First nations have a long tradition of restorative justice. Anyway, in the story, a young man kills another young man in a rage. The elders and the dead man's parents all met in a circle to talk about how the harm would be repaired and justice would be served. One idea that they came up with included the young man leaving his own parents and becoming the "replacement son" to the parents of the boy he killed. The cool thing is that the parents of the dead boy had to undertake their own promise to acccept the replacement son authentically; they could not abuse him, or do anything to him that harmed his humanity. These were the conditions and after several more healing circles where the parties talked and talked, got understanding, extended and received forgiveness, the parents and the boy were reconciled and he truly did become their "son".
Powerful huh?
By contrast, the co-defendent in the case is still going through the courts. I believe her 3rd appeal was just heard, and each time she refuses to "woman up" and take responsibility for her own actions, and goes to another appeal, she drags the parents of the murdered girl through the same horrific memories.
I've met the young man who owned what he did, confessed his sin, and as a result, sought and was granted forgiveness. He exudes a new kind of life and you find yourself rooting for him.
I've not met the young girl who is still stamping her feet in a defiant "not guilty". And I don't have to meet her to know that she is devoid of feeling and life. Her eyes on the camera say it all. And that is not a judgement - it is an observation.
Restorative justice works. I've done enough victim offender mediations to no longer require "buy in". It works and it is now my life hope to become more involved, to get this grass roots movement out of the fringes and into the mainstream, to the point that it even replaces our out dated, unaffective, and even futile, punitive system.
I've had my own experience with the punitive system. In 1994 I reported the man who sexually molested me throughout my childhood to the police; charges were laid; and so began a circus of futility. Initially, he pled guilty, and I did not attend the sentencing hearing, however, when the specific charges were led out in the court, he changed his mind, almost to say "well, I did that, but I didn't do THAT", so the thing was set over to a trial. I attended that one, only to be told by Crown that the matter was being postponed because defense counsel had a vehicle break down enroute to the courts. I attended the rescheduled trial, this time to be told by Crown that they and defense counsel had come to agreement in principle a few days earlier; apparently my offender pled guilty to a couple of lesser charges and Crown were recommending that they accept. Long story short, I never did get my "day in court".
A fundamental need for all victims of any crime is "answers"; answers goes part and parcel with true justice. A victim has a need to ask questions about why, and a need to tell their story about how they were affected and harmed by the offender's actions. While a victim needs to tell their story, to be heard, the closest they come to doing this in the punitive, retributive system is the "victim impact statement", which they don't even get to read out, and can be censured if the court think editing is warranted. Moreover, a victim has no say in how the offender will make things right, and when you think about it, in our current system, the offender can never make it right. The closest thing to "making it right" is a restitution order sometimes ordered on property crimes, but when it comes to personal injury crimes, how does doing time address the harm that the victim has suffered?
In my case, my offender received a 2 year conditional sentence, primarily involving an ankle bracelet and probation. I remember thinking at the time that once I had "my revenge" things would level out for me emotionally. Unfortunately, that could never have happened, not even if he had of received a heavy duty sentence, for the simple reason that my fundamental need for answers was never met.
Ultimately, there was no real freedom for me emotionally, or spiritually, until I was enabled to forgive. Ultimately, I would never receive my answers and get understanding, and with forgiveness, I don't need them.
Had there been restorative justice available for us back then, I can see now that much could have been transformed by it, for both myself and the offender. The cool thing is that some serious crimes are undergoing the restorative justice process now, and I find that so exciting.
There is old native story which I believe to be true. First nations have a long tradition of restorative justice. Anyway, in the story, a young man kills another young man in a rage. The elders and the dead man's parents all met in a circle to talk about how the harm would be repaired and justice would be served. One idea that they came up with included the young man leaving his own parents and becoming the "replacement son" to the parents of the boy he killed. The cool thing is that the parents of the dead boy had to undertake their own promise to acccept the replacement son authentically; they could not abuse him, or do anything to him that harmed his humanity. These were the conditions and after several more healing circles where the parties talked and talked, got understanding, extended and received forgiveness, the parents and the boy were reconciled and he truly did become their "son".
Powerful huh?
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